Chemo #8 in the Rearview Mirror

I am sad to say, Santa did not bring me hair and eye lashes for Christmas. Darn.
And I should start shedding again on Sunday so who knows how many hairs I will have left on my head in another week.

Chemo #8 is done.  Yay!!!  I'm not totally off the hook as I will likely be on Herceptin indefinitely which involves a half hour infusion every three weeks, but the side effects seem to be pretty minimal so that will be okay.
As long as my scans in January look good I won't have any more chemo drugs for a while.  Double yay!!

I had a very good Christmas season even without a good gift from Santa.  My excellent friend Sarah visited for a few days.  One of the highlights was finally going to the Festival of Lights at Van Dusen Garden.  I admit that I have lived in Vancouver for 10 Christmases and this was my first visit.  So worthwhile!
Here's a pic:

And here is a Seattle picture of a Macy's window.  I can't wait to go to New York at Christmas time to look at all the windows.

Christmas Eve Ian and I went to his mum's house for tourtiere.  So yummy.  All of the in-laws were there so it was really nice to catch up with everyone.  One of Ian's sisters lives in a small town in New York that I had hoped to visit during one of my training trip to Rochester.  Yet another thing to reschedule!

Christmas Day was just Ian, the pets, and I.  Ian made Liege waffles for breakfast.  Super yum.  If you have never had Liege waffles you should visit the waffle guy on West 2nd Ave at Patisserie Lebeau.  Fabulous.
We had ham for dinner since I can't eat poultry and it was a wonderful relaxing day.

I attempted to do some Boxing Day shopping with another excellent friend, Carly, and believe it or not I could not find a single pair of shoes to buy.  Oh well, that is good for my pocket book at least.
There it was a seawall trek with awesome Alison.
The rest of the day was a write off.

Thursday was psych myself up for chemo day.  And recovery day from Boxing Day.  And meet up with my cuz Tony and his girlfriend Andrea day.  A good day.

Friday's chemo was another marathon.  And it was interesting as there were more men in the room than women.  That has never happened before.  And when I left it was officially the kid room.  There were 3 of us in the room and the oldest patient was just a couple months older than me.  He seemed to be on a pretty similar regimen as I had been on originally but he had not been given the A-team of anti nauseants and it sounded like he really suffered.  Poor guy.

And I keep forgetting, I read another good book recently: The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Settlefield.

And one last thing, another you tube link (and yes, Ian is cringing in his sleep again), ignore the vid, it's all about the song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NG2zyeVRcbs.

And now that it is rolling towards 4 am, it is time for me to try and get some sleep.

The Weather Outside Really is Frightful

The frightful winter weather started on Tuesday morning.  I am really glad I don't live out in the Fraser Valley since Ian and I had to be at Mount Saint Joes at 8 am for the surgeon consult that day.

I had not seen my surgeon since right after my initial diagnosis so this was partly just to check in with her and see what her general thoughts were about whether or not I should have surgery.
I have been leaning towards having surgery pretty much with the idea that I am willing to be aggressive with treatment if it gives me a longer life span.  The problem, of course, is that at this point in time the research done has not be conclusive as to whether or not surgery actually gives a longer life span to stage 4 patients.  In general the opinion seems to be more or less 50/50.  Hmmmmmm. So helpful.

My surgeon understands the concept of going at the cancer in an aggressive manner due to both my age and my very good state of general health.  Really, if I didn't have the side effects of chemo, like the big, bald head, no one would know that I even had cancer.

So, the final conclusion of the consult was to wait and see the results of my CT and bone scans in January.  If the scans show an absence of lesions in my bones and liver but there is still primary tumour than surgery seems like a good way to go.  If the other lesions are still present than there is less reason to go through the surgery as the random blobs are worse for my general prognosis than the primary tumour.

All in all, nothing is decided.  And so I wait.  The snow was entertaining for a few hours.  Jasper loves to b out in it so we had to do an extra walk.  But, by Wednesday afternoon it was turning in a slushy world instead of a marshmallow world so it was at less fun.
Now it is Thursday and it has been raining non-stop since Wednesday evening so most of the snow is gone.

Good.  Tonight it is Van Dusen Gardens Festival of Lights.  It should be fun!

FAC Weekend

Yes, that is my newest acronym: Forget About Cancer weekend.  I think it is pretty good.

Ian and I packed up Jasper and took him to Seattle for the weekend with our friends Nick and Sarah.  It was a little sketchy to start with the big snow flakes falling.  They were pretty but not exactly the weather we wanted to drive in. Fortunately the snow did not last too long.
We did a little outlet shopping on the way down and had some great food.  That is one problem with Seattle, there are more food places I want to go to than I ever have time to actually visit.

It was fun and so nice to get away and not think about anything but fun stuff for more than 24 hours.
Jasper had a blast staying in a hotel.  I think he possibly thought it was the most exciting thing ever.  He was so mentally stimulated that he barely wanted to move today.  So worthwhile.

And Orchid was left all by herself.  I suspect she upset to be alone but happy to have the dog gone.  It probably would have been perfect if she could have only figured out how to turn on the fireplace by herself.

One thing I did learn on our travels is that I have been truly kidding myself about how much my energy level has rebounded.  I was okay on Saturday.  Sunday was a whole different story.
I had been in Seattle last year for shopping and eating and had no problem with walking and shopping for two days.  This time on day 2 I think a one-year-old who falls down every 3 steps could probably walk faster than I could.  I had been optimistically thinking that I was getting close to being at about 70% of my previous energy level, in reality I think 50% might be an exaggeration.
Oh well, at least my energy is improving.

Tomorrow I meet with my surgeon.  That should be informative.

And watch out Vancouverites, it might snow this evening.

The Chemo Drugs are Laughing at Me.......again

Turns out the chemo drugs were playing a trick on me.  Things have been going great since I switched to taxol and Herceptin, I continue to have tumour shrinkage, my energy level is slowly but surely improving, and my hair has started to grow back.  And then Saturday happened.  My hair started falling out again. And my eyebrows are shrinking by the day.

Oh well, 2 outta 3 ain't bad.  And really, if I had to pick one of the three to have change I would have picked my hair.  I know that eventually it will grow back.

Next up on my treatment schedule is a consult with my surgeon.  Then it is the usual appointment with my oncologist and then the biggie, last chemo day is December 28th!

In January I will have a bone scan and a CT scan to get the official word on the status of my various splotches of cancer.  The PET scan has been vetoed because chemo can affect the results and it is more difficult to determine if a lesion is active or healing.  Who knew!

After the scans is recovery time from chemo before surgery if it is approved and then last is radiation.  So long as the scan results are all good it is nice to think there really is a light at the end of the tunnel.  And so long as the Herceptin stays active hopefully it will be a long time before the next tunnel.

And now I have to go find out what Jasper's problem is.  We have already gone for a bonus walk and played and gone out on the patio for the extra yummy worm flavoured water and had an ice cube and had a few bonus treats.  Now he is being Mr. Whiney Pants.  Probably he is over tired.

Have a lovely day and I hope everyone gets to enjoy the sunshine :-)

More Random Stuff from 3 am

Great. I'm still awake.  It is now 3 am.  So, here is more random stuff for anyone with too much time on their hands.

Item 1:
There is a website for Stage 4 cancer patients that I occasionally go on.  There is a thread requesting other members for some the funniest things other people of said to them.  There are some really funny things posted and there are other comments that people are so upset about that I just don't understand.
One of the most common  phrases that raises complaints is "Your color looks so good".  Just for the record I love hearing that.  As long as it's true.  I don't need lies.  Lies don't help.
But while there is cancer on the inside I am really happy not having it show on the outside! Except for the bald head, of course, can't do much about hair loss:-)

There was another complaint from someone about "My sister just said I'm the strongest person she knows".  I don't get that one either.  Would she prefer that her sister told her that she is a weak cry baby?  I think strong is good.  That is what helps when dealing with the stupid chemo side effects, or too many tests or needle sticks, or the general thought that wow, I could die at some stupidly early age.  I like strong!

So, here is my Youtube link for the day http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xn676-fLq7I

I think I could feel Ian's eyeballs roll even though he is currently downstairs asleep. :-)

Item 2:
I am not a pink person, obviously, based on the name of my blog; but show me a product with a pink ribbon on it these days and I snap it up.
So far I have managed to resist buying any unnecessary products.  Well, except for the strawberry Tic Tacs.  I don't think those were strictly necessary.  They are yummy though so I suppose that is a good enough excuse.

Item 3:
Tassimo coffee makers are awesome!!!  If only the peppermint mocha pods were available in Canada.

Item 4:
Just since I haven't mentioned this recently: pancakes are awesome!!!

Item 5:
My husband is awesome!!!

Item 6:
My friends are awesome!!!

Item 7:
My family is awesome!!!

Item 8:
I apologize, items 4 -7 were a little bit of overkill.
But I don't really apologize because they are true.  Just blame it on sleep deprivation and chemo brain.  Oh yeah, and I have cancer so I have to take advantage. :P

Item 9:

A picture, it's an oldie but a goodie:

And here's another one that I had forgotten about.  Who needs a soft bed to sleep in?

Treatment #7 Done!!

Here we go again, it is 0045 and I am totally hopped up on steroids.  At least I can sleep in tomorrow.

Today was a slightly shorter chemo marathon, only 5 hours.  Yay!  And as always a bit of an adventure.  First off, thank you for the visit, the peppermint mocha ( another of my favourites, so yummy, and so fattening!), and the treat, Marion:-)
After you left Ian and I were serenaded by a Royal watcher and her conspiracy theory on why the queen had Diana killed off.  I thought the heads of the English couple on the other side of me may explode.  It did help pass the time though.

The next day and a half should go very smoothly until the joint aches start up again.  Hopefully they will be of even shorter duration than last time. If the weather is nice I will try and get some walks in.
I haven't decided if walking actually helps with the aches but I figure it can't hurt either.
I will also try to fit a few activities in.  If I am busy I don't think about the aches and that makes them easier to cope with.  I am so not good at sitting on my couch and moping now that I am finally getting some of my energy back!

And, on a very exciting note, my brain function has finally returned enough that I can start driving again.  Now I can go much further afield since I had been limited by either the distance I could walk or no more than 2 stops on the train (I really don't want to pick anything up now that disease season is pretty much in full swing).

And lastly, my thoughts go out to puppy dog Tess's family.  I know how difficult it is to lose a furry family member.  I never had the opportunity to meet Tess but I do know she was well loved.  By now she has probably reunited with Cody and they are both patiently waiting at the Rainbow Bridge for their family.

Twas the Night Before Treatment #7

Wowzers, it's almost hard to believe that tomorrow is my second to last chemo treatment. The time has dragged in some respects and gone so fast in others.  Regardless of the speed of time I can't wait to be done!

I had my usual pre-chemo oncology appointment today. My neutrophils were 1.2. Yay! No extra blood work tomorrow:-)
There wasn't any new information today. We discussed the 3 month plan - finish up chemo at the end of December, recover for 4 - 6 weeks then probably have surgery ( I have to get in touch with my surgeon again and see what her feelings regarding surgery for me are like before the surgery plan is finalized) then there is radiation. In the midst of that the herceptin infusions will continue; fortunately
 there don't appear to be any significant side effects. Also to be fit in will be tamoxifen infusions since my primary tumor is estrogen receptor positive as well as being HER 2 positive.

Due to the taxol my exciting new side effect is hot flashes. Yippee! Chemo induced menopause, how exciting. I have about a 60% chance of the menopause not reversing.  If it does reverse then the additional question of whether I should get my ovaries removed will have to be answered. Fortunately that is not a bridge that needs to be crossed for a bit. Thank goodness, I have had a pretty active last few days so I don't really have the energy to cross any bridges right now!

Radiation Consult

Huh, so much for my intention to blog more frequently.  Don't worry, you didn't miss anything.  The pain is gone and unless you want to read about me blowing my nose all the time due to a lack of nose hair nothing interesting is going on.  I'm not even getting the nose bleeds I have read about.
And my hair is still growing:-)

Oh wait, I did have a point to this post, my radiation therapy consult.  I believe I left you hanging a couple posts ago about the consult and then with typical chemo brain I completely forgot about it.

Here it is, the radiation oncologist or therapist or whatever she is called is very nice.  Not as fabulous as my medical oncologist but still excellent.  Although, that may partly be due to the fact that she gave me good news at my consult.
Her plan for me only involves 10 treatments.  Since they are daily that means only 2 weeks!  If I stick with my current plan of having surgery I would have the surgery first then once I am on the mend from that we would meet again to finalize the radiation plan.
Also, in her mind reconstruction is not totally out the window.  Yippee!  I can't do immediate recostruction as the radiation can cause all kinds of problems but 1 1/2 to 2 years down the road reconstruction is a definite possibility in her opinion.  Now to get my onc and my surgeon on side.

The next step aside from my regular appointments with my oncologist and the chemo nurses will be another consult with my surgeon to ensure that I am still a candidate for surgery.  The first time I met with my surgeon was right after my initial diagnosis I was thought to be only stage 3.  It is possible that she will less enthusiastic about doing surgery now that it is confirmed that I am stage 4 but hopefully that won't be the case.

In the mean time I still have 8 days until my next chemo marathon.  Now, if only mother nature would cooperate and cancel the rain that is in the forecast!

It's Raining......Water

At least it isn't raining cats and dogs.  That would just be messy.

Today is Monday, it's raining, and to go with the weather I feel like I have arthritis in my hands and feet.  Bleh.
The aches and pains from the taxol started right on schedule Saturday afternoon.  Laura, by the time I was home the ache in my left knee was in both my knees, hips, and my left elbow.  I think we left at the perfect time!
Since then the aches have moved around a lot.  I can't decide if walking helps or not, activity just seems to make the aches shift around.  In general it is pretty tolerable but achy eye sockets feel a little funny.

The only other exciting thing is that my hair still hasn't started to fall out again.  I even saw some growth in my eyebrows.  Yay!
My scalp does feel sensitive right now which used to be the indicator that my hair was about to fall out but the tingliness may just be part of the current achiness.

Hmm.  I think that is all I have to say.

Have a lovely afternoon and try not to drown.

Some Light Reading

Since it is currently 0030 ( that is half past midnight for those that aren't from lab land) and the hamster in my brain is spinning at mach speed due to the hefty dose of steroid this afternoon I decided to start on my next blog post.
And, now that my brain has started to function a little better I may actually start posting on a more regular basis.  We'll see.

Baking is not early as fun when you can't lick the bowl.  For the record my neutrophil count was 1.3 on Wednesday so I could get my chemo but that also means my neuts are still dropping during treatment.  So, raw eggs raw still banned:(

I also decided tonight (watch out for those steroids they induce deep thoughts.  Ha ha vintage SNL - or at least my vintage, I don't actually know when Jack Handy first popped up) that the occasional micro meltdown I have been having is a complete waste of my time.  Yes, I admit it, I have definitely had some micro meltdowns and a couple super duper ones, but what can you expect, I was 36 and diagnosed with a stage 4 cancer.  Not exactly something to go out and celebrate by doing the can-can!

(if there are any incoherent sentences or random jibber in those post i apologize. Orchid is being helpful by sitting on my lap and trying to walk all over the keyboard)

Anyway, back to the whole waste of time thing.  Really, at this point there is no reason to spend a lot of time dwelling on the maybes or what ifs or whatever else a person is supposed to dwell on while having a meltdown.  The next step in my future depends on the results of the chemo treatments I'm currently on and then the radiation that follows.  Why bother stressing now when I have no idea what the end result of the treatments will be.
Once I have the results of my next pet scan, which will likely happen after chemo is complete, then I can decide if there is a reason to freak out.  My energy is low enough right now why waste any of it on something that isn't even finished yet?

Next up, my radiation consult.

My Chemo Marathon

Today was treatment number 6. I am officially 3/4 of the way through my treatments!!!

This was also the first time I have had herceptin and taxol on the same day. It turned out to be a 6 hour chemo marathon!  Fortunately I had a nurse who loves dogs and has a toller corgi cross. She was happy to find out that stubbornness is a toller trait and it isn't just her dog being crazy.
I also had several different roommates to keep the day interesting.

It is amazing to think I only have 2 more chemo treatments. In a way the time has really flown by while other times have dragged on. For. Ever.
My oncologist also said yesterday it was amazing how much the tumor had shrunk. And the she looked at me and said, "oh. Maybe that wasn't the best wording. Really, I do think these drugs work and it's all scientific. "  Who cares! If she's happy, I'm happy. That's the key.

Now, I'm kicking back and relaxing in front of the fire. Pretty soon I should get up and organize some mindless activities. I got heavy dose of Benadryl and dexamethasone before the taxol. The Benadryl should wear off soon so the dexamethasone will probably keep me up until about 0400.

Tomorrow is another big day: consult with my radiation oncologist. We will does the radiation treatment plan plus if or when I will have surgery. Fingers crossed that surgery is a go. I would really like to hack out any tumor bits that may remain after the chemo.

And it should be yet another sunny day tomorrow.  Yay!!

It's Been a Good Week

It has been a good week......Obama won reelection. Yay!
And it has been a bad week.....the east coast getting smacked with a snow storm.
Here we go, one more tribute photo to NYC:

I have been doing very well.  The joint pain is a distant memory, my energy level continues to improve, my mom has been visiting so we could get our Christmas baking done (yes, I know it is only November but this is always when we get it done. I can't make rumballs the same days as a Christmas party), and now my dad, brother, and sister-in-law are here as well.
And it is currently sunny:-)

And Happy Friday!!

Weekend in the Key of P

Do you hear that sound? No, not the rain, the laughing sound.  I think it's the chemo drugs laughing at me. Again.

Saturday morning I told Ian how good I was feeling. I could eat normally, I didn't feel icky, I didn't have any aches and pains. It was almost weird, I kind of felt like maybe these new drugs wouldn't actually do anything because I felt so normal. Apparently I just needed to wait about 8 hours.
And then the joint pain set in.

On the whole scale it isn't the worst pain I have ever experienced.  I can still walk and talk and eat.  But it sure gets annoying, particularly when it keeps moving around.  I'm pretty sure every part of my body has ached in the last 2 days.  Really, who knew eyeballs could ache, or cheekbones, or the spot at the base of your skull right where it attaches to your neck?
The majority of the pain has been in the knees, hips, ankles, wrists, elbows, shoulders, and fingers.

It being Monday it is now day 3 of pain and it has decreased.  Mostly hips and knees, and my butt, and its not good butt pain like after a good workout, it is just plain uncomfortable.  It is sad when sitting in front of the tv or computer is uncomfortable.
At the rate things are going it should be pretty much gone by tomorrow.  And I will take the pain over the ickiness any day.

The fatigue and shakiness has come back a little bit but I suspect that is mostly because I have been doing too much because I haven't been feeling sick.  I'm sure a couple naps will solve those problems.

And.....I have been having some major pain right in the tumour.  According to the internet, and we all know we can trust EVERYTHING we read on the internet, that means the chemo drugs are whacking the crap out of the cancer cells.  I will take that pain all the time!

So, in general, things are going pretty good.  If only the rain would stop.  At least we didn't get flooded by a tsunami.  That would have sucked.

Day 2 Paclitaxol

It was 5 hours at the chemo unit today and it actually ended up being fun. I ran into a couple that I met through Jasper years ago when he was a puppy. They had a sweet older dog name Flyer.
Since I last saw them Flyer has died, but she was 16 so not bad for a dog, and breast cancer has entered their lives. But, it was fun to catch up and I got to hear how the taxol has gone for someone else. One downside, I may still lose my eyebrows:( I hope not.

I started the taxol today. It started with dexamethasone followed by a combo of Benadryl and Zantac followed by the taxol. There is alcohol in with the taxol so amazingly enough I didn't totally pass out during the infusion. I did reach the point of slurring my words though.
Fortunately I didn't have any kind of allergic reaction and everything went very smoothly. I was able to walk home.
And now I am feeling a little drowsy but okay. I had no problem eating dinner so that helps too.

I am now waiting for the joint pain to start. My oncologist said I should just lay low for the weekend and it should all pass in about 5 days. The remedy is Tylenol (look at that, another product placement) and Advil. If the pain gets really out of control I have some gabapentin. Maybe it won't get to that point.

I also have my appointment set up to meet with my radiation oncologist. It is in 3 weeks. It will be good to have some idea of what the next step in my treatment plan will be like.

And since it wasn't raining I wore my new boots so that I could have another day with hope:-)

Herceptin Day 1

Yay! I didn't have a heart attack during the infusion!  I also didn't have an allergic reaction or any other kind of response.
All in all a good day.

It was long though - 3 hours. That is just practice for tomorrow with the taxol. If all goes smoothly I will be at the cancer agency for 4 hours. Exciting.

There was a guy on my room today who couldn't have been over 25. It was his last treatment today. So lucky!  I can't wait for my last day.

So there you go, a short and sweet update. Hopefully tomorrow will be the same:-)

Today is Brought to You by the Letter F

And in no particular order, the words of the day are:
Freaked out
Fluevog
Forty

They are really pretty aren't they?

And the saying stamped on the sole is "Another Day With Hope". Seems appropriate.

The frequency that I manage to write blog posts is directly proportional to how much I am thinking about cancer. Today has been a Freak out (Oh, look at that!  Word of the day!) kind of day.
Had my oncology appointment. My neuts are 0.9, so close. I have to go back tomorrow before my chemo time to get them checked again. As long as I hit 1.0 I am good to go.
I think I did a little too much research into the taxol and herceptin side effects and now I keep thinking that the last drugs weren't so bad. Maybe this next combo will be pay back. I sure hope not. See! Another day with hope:)

At the appointment we also discussed the next stage of treatment, namely radiation and surgery. I will probably get a referral to the radiation oncologist some time in the next 3 weeks. Then we can discuss radiation and the possibility of fitting in surgery at some point.  
Unfortunately the plan for surgery doesn't involve reconstruction because I am highly likely to relapse.  Huh, time for another Freak out.  Definitely that kind of day.

Maybe I should go put on the boots and get some hope back in my day:)

My Feet:(

Here are a couple more pictures from the New York archive. A scenic view from Central Park:

And, just because I thought it was weird, a Tim Hortons in lights:

It turns out that it was very smart of me to listen to my poor suffering oncologist who thinks I am slightly crazy and not fly off to NYC. A new and exciting side effect has decided to make an appearance and make my life even more fun.
I had noticed by the end of my first treatment that my hands were more sensitive to heat and cold and even opening water bottles made my hands sore. At the same time I noticed that the skin on the soles of my feet was beginning to slough off. There didn't seem to be a problem until last week when I actually put shoes on 3 days in a row. My feet started to get sore and blisters started popping up even though I was wearing shoes that had not caused blisters before. Now walking is becoming a tad on the painful side. Great. Just when I get the energy to actualy leave the house and get some exercise. I can just feel those chemo drugs laughing at me.

Fortunately with a large supply of well placed Band-Aids (great product placement, eh? All I need is a picture) I  still had a good weekend.  Saturday started with brunch with a great pal from Victoria and her husband followed by High Tea with the NYC Ladies and Miss Anna who is a super star :)  I swear Ladies, this time next year tea will be at Alice's Tea Cup.
Ian and I finished up the weekend with a fabulous French meal with Laura and Ian (yes, her husband is Ian too!), which would probably have been even more tasty with wine.  Again, next year.

My next treatment is scheduled for Wednesday. That is when I switch to taxol and herceptin.  The taxol is to continue with tumour shrinkage while the herceptin is supposed to limit the spread. I thought I would test out the Google and see what useful information I could find in preparation. I did learn that the red drug I had been on is often called the red devil which seems appropriate. 

I found lots of interesting information about both taxol and herceptin. The most horrifying thing is that herceptin has a 5 - 7 % chance of causing heart damage.  All in all that isn't too bad since it is mostly treatable, but there has been one instance of death during the infusion. Crap. 
There is also a percentage of the population that can't tolerate herceptin due to a heart condition.  I have mitral valve prolapse so hopefully that isn't one of those conditions.
Herceptin is a monoclonal antibody that binds with the HER-2 gene of the tumour to prevent over-expression of the gene.  It is not uncommon for tumours to become resistant to herceptin.  Fingers crossed, not me.

For taxol there is just the usual side effects, hair loss, nose bleeds, joint pain, nausea, finger and toe nail damage, nerve damage in the hands and feet, decreased white cell, red cell, and platelet counts.  There is also a chance of allergic reaction during the infusion.  Mostly it is just hives and redness and the solution to the problem is Benadryl.  
Due to the risk of allergic reaction I have to go in Wednesday for taxol so my reaction can be thoroughly monitored and then I go back Thursday for the herceptin. 

Right now it is Monday morning so I think I will go have some more coffee and talk to my bone marrow to make sure my neutrophils are regenerating.  

New York, New York

I am supposed to be here:

right now.  And I should be busy shopping here:

and here:

I guess there is always next year.

I have to add New York to the very long list of things I can't do this year and will have to some how pack into 2013.
Things like endless piles of tuna sashimi at Kadoya, the PNE, Caribbean Days, raw cheese of any kind as long as it isn't blue, a manicure, a hockey game, although that is due more to the lockout than chemo but I am avoiding large crowds now that flu season is almost upon us, Fright Nights, eggs benedict, I am sure you get the idea.

With Laura and Grace as my trusty advisers I did get a couple of hats this weekend.  And yes, the purchases were from the fabulous hat shop on Granville Island.  Now with my supply of toques and my hats for more snazzy occasions I am set for the fall and winter weather.  I can't wait for my hair to grow back!

I am excited that my chemo is delayed until Wednesday next week.  That gives me two extra days of being sort of normal.
And having my drugs switched up is a little stressful.  I had gotten used to the side effects of the old drugs, kind of. When the side effects weren't changing.  But it is still a case of the devil you know is easier to cope with than the devil you don't know.
The general opinion is that the side effects will be easier on the new drugs, but the reality is that the side effects weren't THAT bad on the old drugs, sure, I was utterly exhausted at times, and the bone pain sucked, and the heart burn, but it was nothing I couldn't handle.  What if I really react to the new drugs?  Eight days and I find out.

In the mean time that means 8 days to fill with activities.  I went shopping for the first time in 2 1/2 months and I am totally exhausted now.   I think my first activity will be a nap :-)

I Still Have a Heart

Now, I just need to remember where I put my brain.

To celebrate that I am half way through chemo and thus saying goodbye to the toxic red drug, I got to trek to VGH on Tuesday for another Muga scan a.k.a. nuclear angiogram.  This being my first trip outside in just over a week I did not have a ton of energy but I still managed to make it the 5 uphill blocks in about 15 minutes.  Not bad at chemo speed.
The red drug I had been on has a 1% change of causing heart damage and possible heart failure thus the  need to check the current state of my heart function.  Hopefully there is no change since my last Muga scan that was done just before I started chemo.
The process for this scan was a little different than the first one which just involved two injections with little itty bitty needles.  Chemo drugs can interfere with the radioactive tracer so this time I needed to have an IV inserted so the nuclear medicine tech could remove some blood from me, separate out the chemo drugs, add the tracer, then return the red cells back to me before doing the scan. Ok.
Now I am waiting for the results which I will get when I see my oncologist in a couple of weeks.  In the mean time it doesn't feel like my heart is about to stop suddenly.

Since the Muga scan I have gained enough energy to putter around the apartment and reorganize the kitchen cupboards.  Exciting stuff.  Next I might tackle the linen closet.  And as long as I don't spend more than 15 minutes at a time doing anything I don't feel like I might pass out or throw up.  I think that is progress.

And now the rainy season has started in Vancouver.  We apparently just went through one of the driest periods in something like the last 100 or 150 years so I know we need the rain,  but couldn't it stay away just until my chemo is finished?

Here is a pic of where I wish I was right now courtesy of Suzetta in Italia (I hope you don't mind my borrowing it!)

This is a vineyard in Tuscany.  Wouldn't it be lovely to be there?

Tomorrow I am planning to go hat shopping.  I still have a little bit of hair on my head, and there are even a few random hairs that are still growing, but I would say that I am at least 70% bald now and it is worse at the front.  I still have most of my eyebrows and eyelashes though.  Apparently those are very slow growing hairs so they are also slower to fall out.

Turkey Weekend

Thanksgiving.
The time for family gatherings and turkey dinner with all the trimmings. For me it means my birthday is coming up in another month and then Christmas (!) is right around the corner. I can picture the dinner right now, a beautifully set table, linen napkins, a perfect roast turkey, nice music (whatever Thanksgiving music is), the wine chilled, just like a movie set with narrator describing all the details.
And then I remember the poultry heartburn. Sure, I usually eat too much at Thanksgiving. Who doesn't? Stuffing really is one of the best foods ever invented after pancakes, but I just can't do a turkey dinner this year.
I will have some Stove Top though. What can I say, it's a guilty pleasure:)

So, with an 80% chemo dose this time around I was feeling pretty confident that I would make it through turkey weekend without too much difficulty. Yeah, right, I should've known chemo is a living thing with a vindictive streak 5 miles wide.

Friday night came and went with only a mild hint of the usual bone pain. My confidence was growing by the minute that the pain would not happen. 3 am happened instead. My knees and my shins were wide awake. And probably because of the lower dose I wasn't as tired so it was much harder to sleep through. Arg.
Saturday things settled down and then in the late afternoon my whole body started to ache. This is so not fun. It is now Sunday afternoon and the sympathy I have for people that live with chronic pain is overwhelming. My whole body aches, particularly my jaw and my knees but at least I know the pain will stop within the next day. I can't imagine living with the knowledge that the aching won't stop.

So, I am currently a little cranky but that shall pass. And later it is Stove Top and pumpkin bread pudding for dessert. Food really does make thing a little more cheery.
I just wish I had the energy to visit the seawall and have a coffee. Maybe tomorrow!

Half Way!!

The standard requirement for getting chemo is a neutrophil count of 1.5. My neuts were 1.4, but fortunately my oncologist is a little more lenient and allows the dose as long as my neuts are over 1.   That means with yesterday's dose I am officially half way through my chemo treatments:)
I think my IV nurse was almost as excited as I was that I had reached the half way point. The nurses at the Cancer Agency are so supportive!

So far this round has been okay. I feel the usual off feeling and the tired is kicking in but it is pretty much as expected. This round may be a little easier as I was dropped down to an 80% dose. The fever I had last Saturday is an indicator that my body is started to get run down and once I get one fever I am more susceptible to more fevers in the future. My dose was lowered slightly to decrease the chance of another fever.
I am definitely fine with that. The antibiotics were so hard on my body I really don't want to repeat them any time soon.

Next round my drugs are being changed so treatments will be about 4 hours long instead of just one hour. That will be less fun. But, it also means I say goodbye to the super toxic red drug. I will be starting herceptin though which is supposed to be one of the newer things for preventing cancer from spreading or coming back.

I will be doing 4 rounds with the new drugs and then it will be radiation and possibly surgery. I am voting for surgery but I may have to convince my surgeon that I need surgery but I think I have a pretty good argument just on the basis of my age.

And hi Suzetta in Italia! The pictures are much appreciated. It looks like you are having a fabulous time :-)

Sheryl's Specimens

Today was the Run for the Cure.
Thank you to everyone who donated, we have raised over $11,000!!!
Thank you Abby, you were a wonderful team captain! You did a great job getting the team off the ground and keeping us all organized:)
Thank you to all of my fabulous teammates, your support while I travel the road of a cancer patient means so much to me and it has really made the journey a little bit easier.

And thank you to all of my unofficial teammates who could not make it out today and to my family, I couldn't do this without you.

And here is the picture you have all been waiting for:

Unfortunately the cape and the feather boa hide the coconut bra, but I am sure you get the idea.

It was a fun day finished off with pancakes.  I think I did an okay job of mascot even though I did not actually walk the route.  But now I have a goal for next year to run the 5k.

Tomorrow being Monday, and pending my neutrophil count, it is time for chemo #4.  The all exciting half way point!

Thursday.

It is Thursday, it is sunny, and I'm listening to "I will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor.  Purely coincidence but it is an appropriate song.

I did a little seawall people watching today.  Stripes with plaid were popular as were beard braids.  It is true, Vancouver is not exactly known as a fashion capital of the world, or Canada, or possibly even BC.

The last week and a half has been action packed again.  Aside from the short detour through the VGH emerg, I have had some excellent coffee dates and breakfast dates and lunch dates.  That is what lead to the seawall people watching today, I needed a few extra hours of downtime and the seawall was the closest sunny spot that I could find to sit.  All my fun dates definitely make me tired.

I am almost ready for the next round of chemo.  My next chemo date is #4 and that means I am half way there!!!!

The music is now the James Bond theme.  Eclectic if nothing else.

So, as I was sitting on the seawall contemplating my navel, or maybe contemplating everyone else's navels, there was this little piece of my brain that was already thinking about Monday and positively dreading it.  I know that chemo is necessary and really, on the whole scale of all the chemo stories I have now read or heard about, my chemo adventure has been shockingly uneventful so far.  At the same time that little piece of my brain is still dreading Monday.
Chemo really sucks.  It doesn't suck more than cancer, but it still sucks.

At the same time, with all the suckiness, I am so thankful for chemo.  It is difficult to wrap my head around the whole idea that something that feels so inherently wrong, after all I have spent such a large chunk of my life trying to put as few chemicals in my body as possible, is so good for me.  Maybe all those people eating all that fake chemical filled processed food actually had it right, maybe the chemicals keep the bad stuff away.  Probably not.

At least I still have 3 more days until my next chemo day.  I have one more breakfast date to fit in and the run for the cure is on Sunday.
Thank you to everyone who has donated and thank you to all of my fabulous teammates for being such great friends and doing such an excellent job of fundraising!

Saturday Night Fever

Ha ha! Until I wrote the title I hadn't even thought of the movie.

Yay, lucky me.  I spent Saturday night in Emerg because I had a fever.  The VGH Emerg waiting room definitely smells better than St. Paul's!

I had a fever off and on throughout the afternoon, then it settled in at just over 38 degrees and increased slightly over the next hour or so.  I admit it, Ian was making pizza for dinner so I refused to leave until after I ate.  I actually felt fine other than the fact that my brain was melting.
The Emerg staff was great.  It was Saturday night so it was pretty busy but they did their best to make sure I had prompt service.  And as I bounced around the Emerg.....I think I saw the whole area twice......I even got a private room.

I wasn't keen on it but the triage nurse gave me a mask to wear if I thought I needed it.  It made him feel better.  While another nurse was directing me to my second or third room he told me to put on the mask on and glared at me until I did it.  The only probably wearing the mask was it made my fever feel worse.  Oh well, I didn't need anymore glares.

I went through the sepsis protocol, blood cultures....all 4 bottles were collected with one poke, I thought that was weird but maybe the policy has changed since I last collected blood and I didn't mind one less poke......other bloodwork, ECG followed by chest X-ray.  I have an inverted T-wave due a slight reversal of the axis of my heart.  I suspect they just wanted to see proof of my story before they dismissed angina.

So, at the end of 3 hours I was given 2 antibiotic prescriptions and a starter dose of each and sent on my way.  My neutrophils were a whopping 0.3 but at least my hemoglobin was ok.

And now, for the first time in my life I am on a course of antibiotics.  Joy.  I love chemo.
One drug doesn't mix well with dairy or iron pills or calcium pills or something else but I don't take the something else so I don't care about that.  To be able to eat dairy it has to be 2 hours before a dose or 6 hours after the dose.  Fortunately it is the pill I take every 12 hours and not the one I have take every 8 hours so I can still fit yogurt into my day.

My fever is gone now and I feel totally fine.  The Emerg doc did ask if I had had previous fevers which makes me think I may get to this again some time.  Hopefully not, but if it does maybe it won't be on a Saturday at dinner time during the football game.  At least the Lions won:)

Back to Humanity

Ah, it's amazing what a difference a few days can make!  No more pain, no more heart burn, no more feeling sorry for myself:)

It has continued to be beautiful and sunny in Vancouver so over the last couple of days I have been doing my best to take advantage in my own small way, sitting outside on the patio, or enjoying coffee and the fresh air with Keetah.  Hopefully the rainy season won't start for a couple more weeks!

Fundraising for the Run for the Cure is continuing at a rapid rate, Sheryl's Specimens is one of the top 10 teams!!!!
Great job everyone, and thank you to all of our donors!
I am curious to see what kind of outfit I will be wearing.  I promise to post a picture for all of you that are not at the run on the day.

Have a lovely afternoon everyone!

Round 3

Wow.  Just as I got used to exhausted, exhausting, exhaustion, tired, and fatigue followed by more exhausted, the chemo knocked me on my butt.  Yippee, heartburn and insomnia.  Not a great combo.
My energy level has not been good but the heartburn all day long was much worse than just being stuck on the couch.  And insomnia and I are just are not a good match.  At the best of times I need my sleep, but during chemo......come on, it's only fair that I can still sleep to pass the time.

The consolation was that at least I was still able to eat.  In fact, pretty much the only time I was not suffering from heart burn was when I was eating.  Hmm, that seems healthy!
Fortunately the heartburn seemed to start settling down on Friday evening.

Then 9 pm Friday night rolled around and bam the bone pain in my jaw.  Seriously, I don't need an alarm clock any more.
This time it moved into my teeth, that was odd.  It felt like my teeth might fall out...fortunately it hasn't happened yet:)
When I went to bed my neck hurt so even the pillow was uncomfortable.  Throughout the night the pain slowly worked its way down to hips, and knees, and shins.  Now that it is Saturday afternoon there is just some residual pain in my jaw and that is it.  Thank goodness the pain has decreased each time.

For Saturday morning breakfast I ventured out into the world of bacon and egg sandwiches.....Mom and Dad were visiting this week so more fresh buns!!  I know, no pancakes, but some times you just have to live dangerously.

On the pancake theme, I had mentioned previously that we should have a brunch after the Run for the Cure.  There is a new IHOP located on Broadway near Oak that might be a good location.  I know, it is no Medina Cafe, but it does match my pancake theme nicely.  The restaurant should be large so it should be able to hold lots of people and it is kid friendly.
I have had some positive responses about this idea from a few people already.  If I can get a general idea of the number of people that would be interested I can contact the restaurant to see if it would be feasible.

Oh, and to answer Angela's question about cancelling chemo, yes, it is done.  If a patient's neutrophil count is too low it happens.  I don't know the exact reason, but I suspect the reason is because an increasing neut count indicates that the bone marrow is starting to recover from the chemo shock.  If chemo is given again before the marrow starts to recover there may be a longer delay the next time before the marrow begins to respond which means an extended period with no neutrophils.  And no neutrophils is bad.

So, the worst part of round 3 is over now.  There is one more round of my current treatment to go before the drugs are switched up.  Then it is 4 rounds of the new drugs.  In a way it is hard to believe I have been living the life of a chemo patient for a month and a half already, at the same time it feels like it may never end.  But, it will eventually end, in about another 17 weeks.

Chemo A Go Go

2.1!!!!
I can't complain about that.  Maybe the wheat grass really does help.  Or maybe the vitamin C.  Or maybe it's just nature:)

It was a beautiful day.  I had a seawall stroll with Carly before I went for blood work.  Then it was off for coffee with Marian while hoping the Cancer Agency didn't call to tell me chemo was cancelled.  Thanks for the coffee, Judi!! It is too bad you weren't there, but definitely next time!

The Cancer Agency didn't call so after coffee it was off to the chemo unit.  It was a busy place this afternoon.  And once again I was very thankful that I have big, happy veins.  There was another patient about my age in my room and it took 3 tries and a lot of pain and tears before the IV was in.  And it was her birthday.  I think all the nurses are hoping she gets a port put in before her next treatment is due.
I am still a little amazed that my neutrophils made it all the way up to 2.1.  It is such a relief that I got chemo and a full dose to boot.

The room I was in had a fabulous view.

Ok, that's enough, time to be one with the couch for a little while.

Random Thoughts, Otherwise Known as Mindless Blather

Before the mindless blathering (apparently that really is a word since it wasn't flagged by my spell check) starts, the bad news is that on Friday morning my neutrophil count was 0.1.
That means possibly a delay in my next round of chemo or at best a decreased next dose if there isn't a dramatic increase by Monday afternoon.  It seems the nasty tasting wheat grass juice is not helping, but I don't have any other options so I will continue to drink it.

Now onto the random thoughts that have occurred to me while I have spent too much time sitting on my couch:

Do not stand in a customs line at an airport 40 hours after having a biopsy done.  The odds of wanting to either vomit or pass out are pretty high and somewhat unpleasant.  At the same time travelling is a marvelous way of distracting one's self from potential bad stuff so maybe sucking it up and standing in the line is not such a bad idea after all.

Eat pancakes regularly.  They are even recommended by the BC Cancer Agency as a food to eat.  Add bacon and maple syrup and they are even better.  Although bacon and maple syrup are not recommended by the Cancer Agency sometimes living risky is the better course of action.

When playing Settlers of Catan it is really unfair if all the other players gang up on the cancer patient.

Hand hygiene is really important.

Hard boiled eggs are tasty, even without salt and pepper.

Friends and family are really important to one's mental well being.

Text messaging is an excellent method of communication when computers are not conveniently located next to the couch and talking is too exhausting.

I think I have used the word exhausting more times in the last 6 weeks than I had used it in my entire life BC.

I have a really cute dog, and a really cute cat.  And an awesome husband:)

Having an overactive sense of smell is not a positive thing.

Boating is exhausting (see, there's that word again, I think I need a thesaurus).  But it is fun and the scenery is beautiful.  No fish though.

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, especially when it is out with friends.

Friends and family are really important to one's mental well being and I have an awesome husband.  I know I am repeating myself, it's not chemo brain, they are just the 2 most important things:)

4 Days and Counting

These days my life revolves around my chemo schedule.  Every third Monday I trek off to the Cancer Agency for my next round of chemo and next Monday is one of those Mondays.  It is currently Thursday so I have 4 days left.  The question is how much fun stuff can I pack into 4 days?  Or more importantly, how much energy do I have to do some fun stuff???

Yesterday I decided to be really adventurous and I walked to St. Paul's for a visit.  In the good old days, or maybe I should say BC (before cancer, but I'm sure you all figured that out) the 2.5 k walk took me 30 minutes on a bad day, this time around it was 50 minutes.  But, I made it and best of all I didn't have to sit down part way.  I am doing way better than the first round!!

It was marvelous to see everyone:)

After the visiting was over I called Ian to pick me up.  I may have walked there but I had no hope of making it home again on my own.  And the rest of the day was a write off, all of my energy was spent.  At least it was fun.

As some of you know, I started a new job in the middle of May.  And yes, cancer has really put a damper on my training and working, fortunately I was eligible for short term disability while a cope with chemo.  I had the pleasure of talking to my boss today and even though I can feel my oncologist glaring at me as I say it, I REALLY want to go back to work!  If only my brain cells were working fully and I was focussed enough to drive and I could walk and carry stuff at the same time........I discovered a few days ago that carrying 2 liters of milk 3 blocks requires 2 hours of couch time to recover.  I don't think I will be carting a laptop anywhere for the next few months:(

Since it was yet another beautiful day today (yippee!) I met my fabulous pal, Alison, for coffee and a short stroll on the seawall.  And now I am home again and totally flaked out.  I probably should not have stayed out so long but it was so sunny and the company was nice I guess I pushed my limits just a bit.  Oh well, I'll be glued to the couch again in no time.


The Run for the Cure:

Thank you to everyone who has signed up to run or has donated so far!!!!

I have promised Laura that for my role as mascot she can dress me up however she sees fit for the day.  So, if you are up for some entertainment don't forget to sign up and join us on September 30th:)
I don't know if there is a deadline for registering, but if you want a team shirt the shirt request has to be in by September 14th so try to sign up before then.

I am also looking for brunch ideas for after the run for anyone that can join.  As it may be a fairly large group I think we will have to move outside the downtown core so any suggestions are welcome (unfortunately Medina Cafe does not take reservations so it isn't an option).
I am so glad the run organizers picked the last day of September, it is the day before round 4 of chemo so it is my absolute best day.

Home Time

Alas, two weeks are up and it is time to return to the city.

It was a successful two weeks though.  I have recovered from round 2 of my chemo, Jasper is exhausted, Orchid is a master mouse hunter, and Ian has caught pounds of ling cod for our freezer.

For those of you have not had the joy of looking at a ling cod, here is a picture:

Not the prettiest fish, but very tasty eats!  This guy weighed in at 16 pounds and was actually hooked twice. Ian hooked him and the line broke then Nick landed him on the next go round in the area. Not bad, they even got the hook back.

Have a great Labour Day everyone:)

The Run for the Cure

I am continuing to enjoy my food and gain energy so things are going well these days.  That is really all I have to report.

Onto the Run for the Cure.  Attached is a copy of the poster Abby created for the Lab at St. Paul's (minus the pretty picture, apparently my techy skills are still somewhat lacking!).  The poster includes a link and instructions for registering.
The run is on Sunday September 30th so please register to participate if you can, or you can donate as a supporter of the team from the same link.

Hey Lab Staff

Please join our Team for the CIBC Run for the Cure

Who:  Lab Staff plus family, friends…….anyone you invite to join us

What:  a 5K run/walk or 1K walk

Where:  Vancouver;  Concord Pacific Place, 88 Pacific Boulevard

When:  Sunday, September 30, 2012

Start Times:
7:30am - Final Registration and Donation Drop-off
9:00am - Opening Ceremonies
9:15am - Warm-Up
9:30am - Start of Run
10:30am - Awards Celebration
11:00am - Survivor Parade

Why: to further our vision of creating a future without breast cancer

Our Team = Sheryl’s Specimens

-last year we were the Labsters; this year we dedicate our team to Sheryl in support of her current fight against Breast Cancer

-Our Team Goal = to raise $1500 towards this great cause

-we’ve already reached almost 10% of that goal……and we only have one Team Member so far - LOL

-please join for a fun day with a worthwhile cause; this event goes a long ways to increasing the feelings of camaraderie amongst co-workers and is a great way to improve relations in the work place

PLEASE JOIN…………here’s how:

GO TO:   www.runforthecure.com

CLICK:   Registration and Locations

CLICK:   Vancouver

CLICK:   Join a Team

TYPE:   “Sheryl’s Specimens” in the box that says Team Name

CLICK:   Search for a Team

FIND our team in the list and

CLICK:  Join-----it is only $40 to Participate or No Fee if you commit to fundraise just $150----it’s easy

                               -----I posted on Facebook asking for Support and got $125 within 24 hours----EVERYONE knows SOMEONE who has been touched by this disease!   

The Corner is Turned

Or perhaps the light switch is flipped......really I am not quite sure how to describe it.

Friday was day 4 after chemo and, again, it was the worst day.  Total exhaustion then the bone pain started again in the late afternoon in my jaw. Such an annoying sensation, it is sort of like the pressure feeling of a sinus headache but in the bone. My jaw almost feels swollen and the bone will explode outward. So unpleasant.
So, Friday ended with an unhappy face and total exhaustion. Yippee.

Then Saturday morning it was like I was in a whole new body. My face was still uncomfortable but the overwhelming fatigue was gone. It no longer took effort just to smile.
It's no wonder you have to go into chemo with a positive attitude. It is fact that it takes more effort to frown than smile. Considering how tiring it has been to smile this week there is just no hope in having the energy to frown!

Breakfast was buttermilk pancakes. Yes, they are one of my favorite foods. I am glad the cancer agency has them on the list of suggested foods for chemo patients.

In the afternoon I finally ventured outside for the first time since Tuesday. Such an exciting experience:)
Ian coated my head in sunscreen since the sun was out. Hopefully the blinding white will fade a bit soon.
In general, I started feeling like a human again.
I was a little concerned about how I would cope with the second round and overall I would say that it was better than the first round. It does seem to be true that the devil you know is a little easier to deal with.

Especially the bone pain.  When it started happening the first time it was kind of scary.  First off just the feel of bones that want to explode, but then I started wondering if there was something wrong.  Had I suddenly been overrun by mutantly aggressive cancer cells?  Were the chemo drugs eating my bone from the inside out?  And, most importantly, could my face really explode????
And after a few days it went away.  No visible consequences.  Whew.

Saturday ended with me in a partial human state and an uncomfortable face.  That I can handle.  The bone pain did wake me up in the middle of the night.  My face was better but the exploding bone feeling was in force from the knees down in both legs.  Almost as uncomfortable as the face.  Fortunately chemo keeps me tired enough that I can fall back to sleep pretty easily.  When I woke up a few hours later there was just a hint of discomfort in my legs and my face and that was it.

This being Sunday things have continued to improve.  The bone pain is gone now (2 days sooner than the first time.  That it definitely an improvement!) and I am able to stand up for a few minutes at a time without wanting to vomit or requiring a half hour nap to recover.  That is real progress.

And one last item of note, my appreciation goes out to Abby who has a registered a team in my name for the CIBC Run for the Cure in Vancouver.  The team name is Sheryl's Specimens so please sign up to participate if you are able.  The run is scheduled for the end of September  and I will post more details (and maybe even a link if can get my techy skills back online) soon.

The Chemo Daze

On Tuesday morning Ian packed up me, the pets, and all of my favorite post chemo foods into the car and brought us all to Pender Island for a two week period of relaxation with my parents. That means 3 people to fetch and carry for me.
As a result I have actually found the exhaustion not quite as bad as the first round. I think it helps that the only things I have had to do for the last 3 days are move from the bed to the couch, eat, and go to the bathroom. Not a bad way to recuperate!
I have stuck with all the bland foods - saltines, arrowroots, hard boiled eggs, angel food cake (my mom is looking after me so there have to be a few baked goods!). Plus some blueberries and grapes.

It is nice having a change of scenery even if I haven't made it outside yet.  Below is my view looking over Navy Channel to Mayne Island.  I really can't complain!

Everyone is a having a good time while I lie on the couch.  Ian has caught a fish and Orchid is rapidly piling up the mice count.  Jasper is just happy to be roaming free off leash.

My taste buds have faded again and my sense of smell is in overdrive.  Very frustrating.  I am hopeful that this round will be similar to the last round and my taste buds will start to return on Saturday.  In the mean time I will continue to enjoy my hard boiled eggs without any salt or pepper.

Chemo Round 2

Yay! My neutrophil count was high enough so I got to have my chemo.  Huh, those are words I never thought I would be so excited over.
And before you ask, no, I didn't ask what the count  was.  I was so glad I could have my treatment that I didn't care what the actual number was.

As my treatment was in the afternoon this time there were a lot more patients around.  I was in a room with four chairs but unfortunately not the same nice view as last time.  At least there was a window.  I was the youngest of the 4 of us by at least 20 years though which is a bit of a weird feeling.  I had seen that in other blogs from young cancer patients so I was kind of expecting it but it was still weird.

It was the same routine as last time, I took my pills then I got my IV put in.  Then it was time for patient identification of the name on the drug bags.  One thing I will say, everyone I have dealt with at the cancer agency is good about confirming patient identification.

My nurse had to manually inject the toxic red drug and then the second was run automatically.  Again, no wasabi nose but I did start to feel a little tickle.  The tickle was not a big deal but it lasted for a little while after I got home so next time I will ask to have the drug run for longer so it shouldn't be a problem.

Now, I am home, I've had dinner, I'm working on my 3rd bottle of water, and I can feel the daze coming on.

And for your final entertainment, here are a couple of photos of my blindingly white scalp:)

Velcro Head

I don't know how guys with really short hair can stand it, 3 days of 1/4 inch long hair and I was ready to go crazy.  My head stuck to everything!!  It truly was velcro.
I put on a shirt and the shirt stuck to my head.  I dry my head after a shower and I had towel fuzz.  Go within 5 feet of the dog and I looked like a redhead.  Not fun.
But that's okay, this morning it truly started falling out in chunks so Ian shaved me the rest of the way.
Now if only it was sunny so I could try and make my head not quite so deathly white!  After all my scalp has not seen the sun since some time in 1976.

The other big excitement in my life was my blood work and my visit to my oncologist on Friday.  Turns out my neutrophil (for all the non lab techs out there, that is one type of white blood cell and it is very important for fighting bacterial infections and is knocked out by chemo) count was 0.7.  For chemo I need it at 1.  So, as I am busy willing my neuts to go higher I have also broken down and invested in wheatgrass juice which supposedly can help.
Grossest. Stuff. Ever.
The things I do because I have cancer.

I also got my PET scan results.  If you have been having a good day just stop reading now as it was not the best news.  Not surprising news but not good news.

Hair Yesterday, Gone Today

Poor Jasper caught his first wasp today.

Note the swollen left lip.  Fortunately he is not allergic so he is still alive and the swelling has gone down.  He did have to thoroughly inspect the patio area where he was so violently attacked by the nasty wasp when he next ventured outside.  No more wasps so he could stay.

And I am now bald.  I started getting a scalp-ache last night and when I woke up this morning there was a lot more hair on the pillow.  And the shower was interesting.  I figured it was time to just take it off before my hair started looking patchy.  Even cancer patients don't need patchy hair, that is just cruel.

Trusty Keetah, my fabulous hairdresser and friend, was coming over for a visit so it was perfect timing:)
Turns out I don't have any random scars that I don't remember getting.

It is definitely cooler not having hair.  But kind of weird.

About the PET scan, I brought music for the initial lying down part but there was no music during the scan itself, just the clunking of the bed as it moves around.  Although it didn't clunk as much as the bone scan bed, that one scared the tech a bit.
And no emergency button.
It is pretty much the same type of machine as for a CT scan so the tube you go in is only about 2 feet wide so you can see at least part of the outside world the whole time.  That probably helps limit the clautrophobia.

The reason for the test is that I had a couple of spots on my CT scan and my bone scan that are "suspicious".  One is on my pelvis and one is on my T5 vertebra.  Due to the locations neither spot can be biopsied thus the PET scan.
Bone involvement is bad since that would move me into stage 4.  And even badder, that is not curable territory.  That would also potentially change my treatment but I have to wait for my oncology appointment tomorrow to learn more about that.

I also get my pre-chemo bloodwork done tomorrow.  I am curious to find out what my white count is.  I think that it is probably close to normal right now but we shall see!

Whitecaps Game.......no, wait, a PET Scan

Yay! I'm radioactive, again.  At some point I may start to glow in the dark.

I was supposed to go the Whitecaps game.  Instead I was booked for a PET scan.  That's also known as Positron Emission Tomography.  Yet another exciting full body scan.  First, no exercise for 24 hours.....that's okay, all I can do is walk anyway.  Then I had to fast for 6 hours before the test.  For the last 3 weeks I have been in small meal every 2-3 hour mode.....that part sucked.  Then I had to drink lots of water.  Oh well, I am doing that anyway so no biggie.

The test was at the cancer clinic.  I had to fill out a form about previous surgeries, any allergies, any medications.  Really, I should just take a form and photocopy it 80 times, it would save me from hand cramp.  I also had to sign a release form, PET scans are still classified as "experimental".  They have been in Canada for over 6 years but we don't want to rush anything.

I had an IV inserted then a radioactive glucose solution was injected.  Then I had to lie down for an hour, the tech was nice enough to dim the lights.  PET scan - most boring test ever.  Then it was off to the scanner, I'm not totally sure but I think it was Siemens again.  The scans took about half an hour of lying down with my hands over my head without moving.  Yes, my arms did fall asleep just before the scan was finished.  My hands started to slip right at the end and then there was a little beeping noise from the machine.  I thought they might have to rescan the end bit, since it was my hands, but the beep was just the signal it was all over.  Thank goodness.

Now I just have to get myself psyched up for my next treatment on Monday.  I picked up a prescription and now I need to finish my post chemo shopping list.  Lots of saltines, lots of arrowroots, some soda water, some eggs.  All sorts of exciting things.  I can't wait!

One more side effect

Or maybe 2.  The one that I forgot to mention, yet absolutely drove me crazy for almost a week after chemo was The Smell.  I don't know what is was and Ian swears he couldn't smell it.  It was awful and I was sure it was coming out of my pores.  I think it was the smell of dead cancer cells, or it might just have been the mucous membranes of my nose going haywire.

I did a normal person activity yesterday and tagged along while Ian and Nick went fishing.  Or at least tried to go fishing.  It was beautiful in the marina but on the way out it was not so calm.  We were planning to head over to the mouth of the Capilano River but by the time we were close to the north shore there were 3 foot rolling waves and it was not so fun.  My equilibrium is not quite as steady these days so before we even had both rods in the water I requested we turn around.  It really was not the best fishing weather.

Back at the marina, it was beautiful and calm again so we sat out and enjoyed the sun.

And the scenery is always pleasant.

I paid for all that activity today though.  I needed several hours of extra sleep to recover.  But at least I finally made it out on the boat:)

My Meds, My Side Effects

I had my first unescorted outing yesterday.  Granted, it was to a hospital which is pretty safe!  It was lovely to see my old co-workers and go on a coffee date.  Yay!!

Today was uneventful but I finally have the energy to do a little baking.  I am currently waiting for the banana bread to come out of the oven. Yum.

So, one of the reasons I started this blog, aside from the reason that it was an easy way to keep people up to date on my progress was for future cancer patients to read a little bit about my experience as they get ready for their own experience.  I found that as I was preparing for my first chemo date reading about other people's experiences was very helpful and there were lots of little tips and suggestions.  Just a warning, the rest of this post is going to be lots of detail about my meds and the gory in depth details of my side effects so far so if you stop here I totally understand.

In preparation for chemo, the first thing I did was trip off to the local pharmacy with my fistful of prescriptions.  My actual prescriptions were:

The New Normal

Yesterday I was feeling particularly adventurous and went out for a splendid stroll along the Seawall with Mom.  For the last couple of days I have been feeling so normal I thought I walk would be good.
Turns out there is definitely a new definition of normal in my world.
We walked for about 1 km each way.  I'm sure you're all thinking "hey, that's not bad" and really it isn't bad until you add in the 15 (or maybe 20 or 30) minute rest on a bench part way.  The 20 minute rest at the end.  The 20 minute rest part way back and the final sitting down on the couch and not moving for while once home again.
Just to put that all in perspective, while working at St. Paul's I walked to and from work each day.  It was about 2.5 km each way and on a bad day it took me 30 minutes.  And it was uphill both ways too!!  Or at least slightly uphill on the way in to work:)
I am sure my energy will continue to improve over the next week until my next treatment but it is just to  odd to see just how totally chemo can affect your world.  Only 22 1/2 weeks to go!

On a more cheery note I want to send out a general thank you to everyone for all their thoughts and prayers and emails and texts as I have started this cancer adventure.  All your positive thoughts are greatly appreciated:)

On the all important food front my taste buds seem to have bounced back pretty well so everything is back on the menu.  Except mojitos.  I had a couple sips of Ian's mojito on Monday and I was totally loopy.  I think the alcohol will be in small doses if any for the next while.  Oh well, it sure makes the bar bill cheaper.

Oh, my tingly scalp.....

I suspect the tingling may be the death throes of my hair follicles. I haven't seen any real sign yet that my hair is falling out but it will probably be soon.

My energy level continues to improve and my appetite seems to have returned to normal. I am longer craving endless piles of simple carbs and everything I have eaten today has tasted normal.
Laura, regarding your question about the McDonald's cheeseburger, it was a very good thing it tasted just the way I thought it should. It meant my taste buds were working:)

Mom and Dad have come for a visit. Yeah, that means someone to take me outside during the day. I sure hope the weather stays sunny!

Peanut butter is yummy

I am happy to report that peanut butter is once again one of my favorite foods.

This blog post had a fairly endless list of possible titles as it has been a rather action packed long weekend, but a peanut butter tasting was the most recent thing so it wins.
It turns out my feeling of normalcy kept increasing on Saturday to the point I needed a McDonald's cheeseburger for dinner. I haven't actually eaten at McDonald's for a year and a half but I saw a commercial while watching the Olympics and I could just taste that cheeseburger so much I wanted to see if it was still the same.  It was. And so were the fries.
Oh yeah, and they recommend avoiding fatty foods during chemo due to the increased chance of heartburn. My heart didn't burn so no problem.
Around 7 pm I suddenly felt downright energetic. I made it up and down the stairs several times and even stayed on my feet for about 5 minutes straight without any tired feelings. Not bad!

Blueberry Pancakes & Bacon!!!

So, it turns out I lost a couple more days of my life. Thursday was a total write off; so was Friday. I appreciated the short visit from Laura on Friday afternoon but it turns out 10 minutes is the max I can currently sit unsupported. My infusion nurse had warned me day 4 after chemo would be one of the worst but I didn't think I would be that exhausted!
I have done my share of double shifts and too many shifts in a row and it was nothing like I felt on Friday. Walking upstairs required a half hour nap to recover.
And now it is Saturday. I woke up and the first thing I thought was "huh, I feel almost.......normal". I still don't have the energy to sit upright unsupported but my body feels weirdly normal.
And that is fabulous because all week I have been picturing pancakes for breakfast!!!!! And a little bacon:)
I managed to stay up for 2 pancakes and a piece of bacon.  Yum.

It's funny because I had actually thought about changing the name of my blog to "chemo - cruel and inhumane punishment for foodies" after this week but now I think my taste buds may return some day.
The horror all started on Wednesday when I ate a piece of Gouda and it tasted awful (I know, Craig, what could be worse than bad tasting Gouda!). Then on Thursday I tried some peanut butter and jam. And I am talking thick layers of peanut butter and jam and nothing. No flavor at all. Wow.
Sadly, Arrowroots and saltines became my new favorite foods. And cold food. You know you're in trouble when a cold hard boiled egg without salt or pepper is one of the tastiest things you eat. The grilled chicken on Friday night was good, but I think I now know what heartburn is:) that's ok, I have pills for that now too. Poor me who wouldn't take pills for a headache will pop anything now. I suppose there aren't too many things I could take now that are actually more toxic than chemo drugs so that is my excuse.

Back to this morning and this feeling of normalcy. I still can't quite believe it. I decided to go back to bed to not jinx it but pretty soon I have to get up and have another pancake.

Have a fabulous sunny and safe long weekend everyone:D

2 Days Post Chemo

Not a lot to report.  Apparently Wednesday happened.  I missed most of it.

The day after chemo

Well, the day was pretty much a write off. I had a low level blechy feeling for most of the morning. After consuming half a bag of saltines I managed to feel sufficiently energized to drag my butt out of bed around 1.....not my best day. I was also reading a really good book so I partially blame the low energy on wanting to finish it!
I did revive enough to head down to the boat for a little fresh air. I was a little worried about motion sickness even though we were at dock but it was okay. I think the grape Popsicle helped.
Next up was my cardiac echo, yeah, an easy one no needles.   There was a slight snag as I was told the appointment was at 4:30, but it was actually at 14:30. Fortunately they were able to fit me after just a few minute wait.
My energy level is a little better now. I should be able to brush my teeth before bed which is always a good sign:)
I'm glad I have a steroid for improved energy. I can't imagine how I would be without it. Needless to say I am definitely not suffering from restlessness or twitchyness.  Friday could be very interesting when I am off the drug.