Weekend in the Key of P

Do you hear that sound? No, not the rain, the laughing sound.  I think it's the chemo drugs laughing at me. Again.

Saturday morning I told Ian how good I was feeling. I could eat normally, I didn't feel icky, I didn't have any aches and pains. It was almost weird, I kind of felt like maybe these new drugs wouldn't actually do anything because I felt so normal. Apparently I just needed to wait about 8 hours.
And then the joint pain set in.

On the whole scale it isn't the worst pain I have ever experienced.  I can still walk and talk and eat.  But it sure gets annoying, particularly when it keeps moving around.  I'm pretty sure every part of my body has ached in the last 2 days.  Really, who knew eyeballs could ache, or cheekbones, or the spot at the base of your skull right where it attaches to your neck?
The majority of the pain has been in the knees, hips, ankles, wrists, elbows, shoulders, and fingers.

It being Monday it is now day 3 of pain and it has decreased.  Mostly hips and knees, and my butt, and its not good butt pain like after a good workout, it is just plain uncomfortable.  It is sad when sitting in front of the tv or computer is uncomfortable.
At the rate things are going it should be pretty much gone by tomorrow.  And I will take the pain over the ickiness any day.

The fatigue and shakiness has come back a little bit but I suspect that is mostly because I have been doing too much because I haven't been feeling sick.  I'm sure a couple naps will solve those problems.

And.....I have been having some major pain right in the tumour.  According to the internet, and we all know we can trust EVERYTHING we read on the internet, that means the chemo drugs are whacking the crap out of the cancer cells.  I will take that pain all the time!

So, in general, things are going pretty good.  If only the rain would stop.  At least we didn't get flooded by a tsunami.  That would have sucked.

Day 2 Paclitaxol

It was 5 hours at the chemo unit today and it actually ended up being fun. I ran into a couple that I met through Jasper years ago when he was a puppy. They had a sweet older dog name Flyer.
Since I last saw them Flyer has died, but she was 16 so not bad for a dog, and breast cancer has entered their lives. But, it was fun to catch up and I got to hear how the taxol has gone for someone else. One downside, I may still lose my eyebrows:( I hope not.

I started the taxol today. It started with dexamethasone followed by a combo of Benadryl and Zantac followed by the taxol. There is alcohol in with the taxol so amazingly enough I didn't totally pass out during the infusion. I did reach the point of slurring my words though.
Fortunately I didn't have any kind of allergic reaction and everything went very smoothly. I was able to walk home.
And now I am feeling a little drowsy but okay. I had no problem eating dinner so that helps too.

I am now waiting for the joint pain to start. My oncologist said I should just lay low for the weekend and it should all pass in about 5 days. The remedy is Tylenol (look at that, another product placement) and Advil. If the pain gets really out of control I have some gabapentin. Maybe it won't get to that point.

I also have my appointment set up to meet with my radiation oncologist. It is in 3 weeks. It will be good to have some idea of what the next step in my treatment plan will be like.

And since it wasn't raining I wore my new boots so that I could have another day with hope:-)

Herceptin Day 1

Yay! I didn't have a heart attack during the infusion!  I also didn't have an allergic reaction or any other kind of response.
All in all a good day.

It was long though - 3 hours. That is just practice for tomorrow with the taxol. If all goes smoothly I will be at the cancer agency for 4 hours. Exciting.

There was a guy on my room today who couldn't have been over 25. It was his last treatment today. So lucky!  I can't wait for my last day.

So there you go, a short and sweet update. Hopefully tomorrow will be the same:-)

Today is Brought to You by the Letter F

And in no particular order, the words of the day are:
Freaked out
Fluevog
Forty

They are really pretty aren't they?

And the saying stamped on the sole is "Another Day With Hope". Seems appropriate.

The frequency that I manage to write blog posts is directly proportional to how much I am thinking about cancer. Today has been a Freak out (Oh, look at that!  Word of the day!) kind of day.
Had my oncology appointment. My neuts are 0.9, so close. I have to go back tomorrow before my chemo time to get them checked again. As long as I hit 1.0 I am good to go.
I think I did a little too much research into the taxol and herceptin side effects and now I keep thinking that the last drugs weren't so bad. Maybe this next combo will be pay back. I sure hope not. See! Another day with hope:)

At the appointment we also discussed the next stage of treatment, namely radiation and surgery. I will probably get a referral to the radiation oncologist some time in the next 3 weeks. Then we can discuss radiation and the possibility of fitting in surgery at some point.  
Unfortunately the plan for surgery doesn't involve reconstruction because I am highly likely to relapse.  Huh, time for another Freak out.  Definitely that kind of day.

Maybe I should go put on the boots and get some hope back in my day:)

My Feet:(

Here are a couple more pictures from the New York archive. A scenic view from Central Park:

And, just because I thought it was weird, a Tim Hortons in lights:

It turns out that it was very smart of me to listen to my poor suffering oncologist who thinks I am slightly crazy and not fly off to NYC. A new and exciting side effect has decided to make an appearance and make my life even more fun.
I had noticed by the end of my first treatment that my hands were more sensitive to heat and cold and even opening water bottles made my hands sore. At the same time I noticed that the skin on the soles of my feet was beginning to slough off. There didn't seem to be a problem until last week when I actually put shoes on 3 days in a row. My feet started to get sore and blisters started popping up even though I was wearing shoes that had not caused blisters before. Now walking is becoming a tad on the painful side. Great. Just when I get the energy to actualy leave the house and get some exercise. I can just feel those chemo drugs laughing at me.

Fortunately with a large supply of well placed Band-Aids (great product placement, eh? All I need is a picture) I  still had a good weekend.  Saturday started with brunch with a great pal from Victoria and her husband followed by High Tea with the NYC Ladies and Miss Anna who is a super star :)  I swear Ladies, this time next year tea will be at Alice's Tea Cup.
Ian and I finished up the weekend with a fabulous French meal with Laura and Ian (yes, her husband is Ian too!), which would probably have been even more tasty with wine.  Again, next year.

My next treatment is scheduled for Wednesday. That is when I switch to taxol and herceptin.  The taxol is to continue with tumour shrinkage while the herceptin is supposed to limit the spread. I thought I would test out the Google and see what useful information I could find in preparation. I did learn that the red drug I had been on is often called the red devil which seems appropriate. 

I found lots of interesting information about both taxol and herceptin. The most horrifying thing is that herceptin has a 5 - 7 % chance of causing heart damage.  All in all that isn't too bad since it is mostly treatable, but there has been one instance of death during the infusion. Crap. 
There is also a percentage of the population that can't tolerate herceptin due to a heart condition.  I have mitral valve prolapse so hopefully that isn't one of those conditions.
Herceptin is a monoclonal antibody that binds with the HER-2 gene of the tumour to prevent over-expression of the gene.  It is not uncommon for tumours to become resistant to herceptin.  Fingers crossed, not me.

For taxol there is just the usual side effects, hair loss, nose bleeds, joint pain, nausea, finger and toe nail damage, nerve damage in the hands and feet, decreased white cell, red cell, and platelet counts.  There is also a chance of allergic reaction during the infusion.  Mostly it is just hives and redness and the solution to the problem is Benadryl.  
Due to the risk of allergic reaction I have to go in Wednesday for taxol so my reaction can be thoroughly monitored and then I go back Thursday for the herceptin. 

Right now it is Monday morning so I think I will go have some more coffee and talk to my bone marrow to make sure my neutrophils are regenerating.  

New York, New York

I am supposed to be here:

right now.  And I should be busy shopping here:

and here:

I guess there is always next year.

I have to add New York to the very long list of things I can't do this year and will have to some how pack into 2013.
Things like endless piles of tuna sashimi at Kadoya, the PNE, Caribbean Days, raw cheese of any kind as long as it isn't blue, a manicure, a hockey game, although that is due more to the lockout than chemo but I am avoiding large crowds now that flu season is almost upon us, Fright Nights, eggs benedict, I am sure you get the idea.

With Laura and Grace as my trusty advisers I did get a couple of hats this weekend.  And yes, the purchases were from the fabulous hat shop on Granville Island.  Now with my supply of toques and my hats for more snazzy occasions I am set for the fall and winter weather.  I can't wait for my hair to grow back!

I am excited that my chemo is delayed until Wednesday next week.  That gives me two extra days of being sort of normal.
And having my drugs switched up is a little stressful.  I had gotten used to the side effects of the old drugs, kind of. When the side effects weren't changing.  But it is still a case of the devil you know is easier to cope with than the devil you don't know.
The general opinion is that the side effects will be easier on the new drugs, but the reality is that the side effects weren't THAT bad on the old drugs, sure, I was utterly exhausted at times, and the bone pain sucked, and the heart burn, but it was nothing I couldn't handle.  What if I really react to the new drugs?  Eight days and I find out.

In the mean time that means 8 days to fill with activities.  I went shopping for the first time in 2 1/2 months and I am totally exhausted now.   I think my first activity will be a nap :-)

I Still Have a Heart

Now, I just need to remember where I put my brain.

To celebrate that I am half way through chemo and thus saying goodbye to the toxic red drug, I got to trek to VGH on Tuesday for another Muga scan a.k.a. nuclear angiogram.  This being my first trip outside in just over a week I did not have a ton of energy but I still managed to make it the 5 uphill blocks in about 15 minutes.  Not bad at chemo speed.
The red drug I had been on has a 1% change of causing heart damage and possible heart failure thus the  need to check the current state of my heart function.  Hopefully there is no change since my last Muga scan that was done just before I started chemo.
The process for this scan was a little different than the first one which just involved two injections with little itty bitty needles.  Chemo drugs can interfere with the radioactive tracer so this time I needed to have an IV inserted so the nuclear medicine tech could remove some blood from me, separate out the chemo drugs, add the tracer, then return the red cells back to me before doing the scan. Ok.
Now I am waiting for the results which I will get when I see my oncologist in a couple of weeks.  In the mean time it doesn't feel like my heart is about to stop suddenly.

Since the Muga scan I have gained enough energy to putter around the apartment and reorganize the kitchen cupboards.  Exciting stuff.  Next I might tackle the linen closet.  And as long as I don't spend more than 15 minutes at a time doing anything I don't feel like I might pass out or throw up.  I think that is progress.

And now the rainy season has started in Vancouver.  We apparently just went through one of the driest periods in something like the last 100 or 150 years so I know we need the rain,  but couldn't it stay away just until my chemo is finished?

Here is a pic of where I wish I was right now courtesy of Suzetta in Italia (I hope you don't mind my borrowing it!)

This is a vineyard in Tuscany.  Wouldn't it be lovely to be there?

Tomorrow I am planning to go hat shopping.  I still have a little bit of hair on my head, and there are even a few random hairs that are still growing, but I would say that I am at least 70% bald now and it is worse at the front.  I still have most of my eyebrows and eyelashes though.  Apparently those are very slow growing hairs so they are also slower to fall out.

Turkey Weekend

Thanksgiving.
The time for family gatherings and turkey dinner with all the trimmings. For me it means my birthday is coming up in another month and then Christmas (!) is right around the corner. I can picture the dinner right now, a beautifully set table, linen napkins, a perfect roast turkey, nice music (whatever Thanksgiving music is), the wine chilled, just like a movie set with narrator describing all the details.
And then I remember the poultry heartburn. Sure, I usually eat too much at Thanksgiving. Who doesn't? Stuffing really is one of the best foods ever invented after pancakes, but I just can't do a turkey dinner this year.
I will have some Stove Top though. What can I say, it's a guilty pleasure:)

So, with an 80% chemo dose this time around I was feeling pretty confident that I would make it through turkey weekend without too much difficulty. Yeah, right, I should've known chemo is a living thing with a vindictive streak 5 miles wide.

Friday night came and went with only a mild hint of the usual bone pain. My confidence was growing by the minute that the pain would not happen. 3 am happened instead. My knees and my shins were wide awake. And probably because of the lower dose I wasn't as tired so it was much harder to sleep through. Arg.
Saturday things settled down and then in the late afternoon my whole body started to ache. This is so not fun. It is now Sunday afternoon and the sympathy I have for people that live with chronic pain is overwhelming. My whole body aches, particularly my jaw and my knees but at least I know the pain will stop within the next day. I can't imagine living with the knowledge that the aching won't stop.

So, I am currently a little cranky but that shall pass. And later it is Stove Top and pumpkin bread pudding for dessert. Food really does make thing a little more cheery.
I just wish I had the energy to visit the seawall and have a coffee. Maybe tomorrow!

Half Way!!

The standard requirement for getting chemo is a neutrophil count of 1.5. My neuts were 1.4, but fortunately my oncologist is a little more lenient and allows the dose as long as my neuts are over 1.   That means with yesterday's dose I am officially half way through my chemo treatments:)
I think my IV nurse was almost as excited as I was that I had reached the half way point. The nurses at the Cancer Agency are so supportive!

So far this round has been okay. I feel the usual off feeling and the tired is kicking in but it is pretty much as expected. This round may be a little easier as I was dropped down to an 80% dose. The fever I had last Saturday is an indicator that my body is started to get run down and once I get one fever I am more susceptible to more fevers in the future. My dose was lowered slightly to decrease the chance of another fever.
I am definitely fine with that. The antibiotics were so hard on my body I really don't want to repeat them any time soon.

Next round my drugs are being changed so treatments will be about 4 hours long instead of just one hour. That will be less fun. But, it also means I say goodbye to the super toxic red drug. I will be starting herceptin though which is supposed to be one of the newer things for preventing cancer from spreading or coming back.

I will be doing 4 rounds with the new drugs and then it will be radiation and possibly surgery. I am voting for surgery but I may have to convince my surgeon that I need surgery but I think I have a pretty good argument just on the basis of my age.

And hi Suzetta in Italia! The pictures are much appreciated. It looks like you are having a fabulous time :-)